Collecting bodily fluids – Bank Holiday adventure

This Bank Holiday weekend I’ve been covered in vomit, diarrhoea, blood and urine time and time again.  Despite this it’s been absolutely brilliant!

My family and I spent the weekend at Centre Parcs, Longleat.  It was our first ever break at a Centre Parcs and we did it on a grand scale.  A group of 38 Mummies, Daddies and children got together for the weekend to celebrate two of the Mummies Birthdays.  It was a sensational.


I’m putting together a separate post about Centre Parcs itself but for now wanted to write about the cocktail of bodily fluids that descended upon me over the weekend.

The deluge began on Saturday night, at around 1:30am when my 11 month year old angel, Roo, began bubbling from her cot directly next to me.  Lifting her from her bed unleashed a spray of warm chunks over me and my pyjama t shirt and bottoms.  Over the next hour as my wife and I cuddled her and cleaned the bedding she continued to bubble up.

The next morning several more eruptions wiped out more of my t shirts so we decided to head for a swim.  We had a great splish splash but as I carried my 2 year old daughter, Moo, heading back to our lodge, she announced that she needed a wee.  Quickening my pace only seemed to shake her defences loose, relaxing her muscles allowed her bladder to empty all over another t shirt.

poorly moo

We got back to the lodge and I got myself changed.  Entering the lounge Roo stood proudly smiling at me on her wobbly little legs, holding onto the coffee table.  Seeing me resulted in a little giggle and a bounce, her fingers slipped, her nose fell colliding with the table and she rolled sideways onto the floor.  I rushed over, picked her up and gave her a cuddle.  When she began to calm down I eased my hold on her to see that she had a nose bleed, leaving a stunning red pattern on one of my few remaining clean T shirts.

Having changed my T shirt I settled down for a cuddle and kept a careful eye on her nose.  As she continued to relax following her accident she did as all babies do to become more comfortable and eased a poo out.  Unfortunately for her, her tummy bug appeared to be still present and correct as she expelled an impressive bout of diarrhoea all over me, another T shirt and pair of trousers were done.

Since returning home on Sunday night Moo has caught the tummy bug and wiped out another 2 of my shirts.

Following the weekend the pile of the girl’s and my washing is set to rival Everest.  Both my lovely little ladies are on the mend and despite needing lots of rest today are looking and feeling much better.

Despite their poorly tummies they were still able to have a lovely time away.  Centre Parcs was a stunning venue for our adventures and we hope to revisit again soon.


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2 Responses

  1. Shaina Braun says:

    Ah the joys of parenthood! It sounds like you were such a great sport about it all! Kids are so resilient and I am so glad they were able to have a good time despite all of it! 🙂

    • says:

      It was an incredible weekend thank you, one we will not forget anytime soon. Thanks for taking the time to read it.